Showing posts with label Girish. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Girish. Show all posts

October 26, 2009

Men - Honourable Liars

"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.
The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked..
"Yes," cried the woodcutter.
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up with CAMERON DIAZ . Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife . Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.
Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE ."
The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it! - "WE ARE HONORABLE LIARS!!!!!!"

October 15, 2009

How to Take Care of Your Wife.....What's ur score

How to take care of your wife:

In the world, one single rule applies to the men: Make the Woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES--
You make the bed (+1)-- You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)--
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)--
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)--
In the rain (+8)-- But return with Beer (-5)--
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)--
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)--
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)--
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)--
It's her pet (-10)


SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS--
You stay by her side the entire party (0)--
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)--
Named Tina (-4)--
Tina is a dancer (-10)

HER BIRTHDAY--
You take her out to dinner (0)--
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)--
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)--
And it's all-you-can- eat night (-3)--
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can- eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)


A NIGHT OUT-- You take her to a movie (+2)--
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)--
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)-- You take her to a movie you like (-2)--
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)--
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)



YOUR PHYSIQUE--
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)--
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)--
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)-- You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)


ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION--
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]--
You hesitate in responding (-10)--
You reply, "Where?" (-35)--
Any other response (-20)


COMMUNICATION--
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned _____expression (0)--
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)--
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)--
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

October 6, 2009

Are You Ready ! 2012 End of The World!

The world is going to end at 2012 A.D

Scientific experts from around the world are genuinely predicting that five years from now, all life on Earth could well finish. Some are saying it'll be humans that set it off. Others believe that a natural phenomenon will be the cause. And the religious folks are saying it'll be God himself who presses the stop button...Can we believe it ? Are we ready for it ? Is it true ?
I have given 7 reasons why the world can end at 2012. Scroll Down..

7 Reasons why the worlds can end at 2012

Read it to believe it
1. Mayan CalendarThe first mob to predict 2012 as the end of the world were the Mayans, a bloodthirsty race that were good at two things:Building highly accurate astrological equipment out of stone andSacrificing Virgins.Thousands of years ago they managed to calculate the length of the lunar moon as 329.53020 days, only 34 seconds out. The Mayan calendar predicts that the Earth will end on December 21, 2012 . Given that they were pretty close to the mark with the lunar cycle, it's likely they've got the end of the world right as well.

2. Sun StormsSolar experts from around the world monitoring the sun have made a startling discovery: our sun is in a bit of strife. The energy output of the sun is, like most things in nature, cyclic, and it's supposed to be in the middle of a period of relative stability. However, recent solar storms have been bombarding the Earth with so much radiation energy, it's been knocking out power grids and destroying satellites. This activity is predicted to get worse, and calculations suggest it'll reach its deadly peak sometime in 2012..

3. The Atom SmasherScientists in Europe have been building the world's largest particle accelerator. Basically its a 27km tunnel designed to smash atoms together to find out what makes the Universe tick. However, the mega-gadget has caused serious concern, with some scientists suggesting that it's properly even a bad idea to turn it on in the first place. They're predicting all manner of deadly results, including mini black holes. So when this machine is fired up for its first serious experiment in 2012, the world could be crushed into a super-dense blob the size of a basketball.

4. The Bible says...If having scientists warning us about the end of the world isn't bad enough,religious folks are getting in on the act aswell. Interpretations of the Christian Bible reveal that the date for Armageddon, the final battle between Good an Evil, has been set down for 2012. The I Ching, also known as the Chinese book of Changes, says the same thing, as do various sections of the Hindu teachings.

5. Super VolcanoYellowstone National Park in the United States is famous for its thermal springs and Old Faithful geyser. The reason for this is simple - it's sitting on top of the world's biggest volcano, and geological experts are beginning to get nervous sweats. The Yellowstone volcano has a pattern of erupting every 650,000 years or so, and we're many years overdue for an explosion that will fill the atmosphere with ash, blocking the sun and plunging the Earth into a frozen winter that could last up to 15,000 years. The pressure under the Yellowstone is building steadily, and geologists have set 2012 as a likely date for the big bang.

6. The PhysicistsThis one's case of bog-simple maths mathematics. Physicists at Berekely Uni have been crunching the numbers. and they've determined that the Earth is well overdue for a major catastrophic event. Even worse, they're claiming their calculations prove, that we're all going to die, very soon - while also saying their prediction comes with a certainty of 99 percent- and 2012 just happens to be the best guess as to when it occurs.

7. Slip-Slop-Slap- BANG!We all know the Earth is surrounded by a magnetic field that sheilds us from most of the sun's radiation. What you might not know is that the magnetic poles we call north and south have a nasty habit of swapping places every 750,000 years or so - and right now we're about 30,000 years overdue. Scientists have noted that the poles are drifting apart roughly 20-30kms each year, much faster than ever before, which points to a pole-shift being right around the corner. While the pole shift is underway, the magnetic field is disrupted and will eventually disappear, sometimes for up to 100 years. The result is enough UV outdoors to crisp your skin in seconds, killing everything it touches.

September 25, 2009

Gujarathi Bhai! How do they Survive Anywhere!

Why Gujarati do good in any field
Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman forMicrosoft Europe.

5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah.
Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.
2000 people leave the room.
Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to loseif I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100people may leave.
2000 people leave the room.
Kantibhai says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I havenothing to lose if I stay.what can happen to me?' So he stays....... ......

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.
>500 people leave the room.
Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got tolose?' So he stays in the room..

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak, Serbo - Croat toleave.
498 people leave the room.
Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word ofSerbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?'So he stays and finds himself with One other candidate.

Everyone else has gone.Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only twocandidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have aconversation together in that language.'
Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says, `Kem Chhe Bapu ?...

The other candidate answers 'Ekdam Majama !!

What's Ur Rashee....!

Dear Guys

Inner view of Women in ur life....Do you know them really...Check this Link

http://docs.google.com/fileview?id=0B8eaoZ8lR2N6Yjk4NDA4ZDQtYTFjMy00MWFlLTk3MDgtMWFkNzk4MWRlYTg2&hl=en

'What's Your Rashee................Cheers!

BEST LAWYER STORY!

CENTURY BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE
DECADE AND PROBABLY THE YEAR

Charlotte, North Carolina. A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued.. and WON!

(Stay with me.)

Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance companythat the claim was frivolous.

The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy fromthe company, which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire" and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars lost in the "fires".


NOW FOR THE BEST PART..



After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON (Arson is the crime of deliberately and maliciously setting fire to structures or wildland areas.) With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent

Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.ONLY IN America!

August 28, 2009

Are You Healthy



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They are SOFTWARE ENGINEERS, BANKERS, CONSULTANTS, OFFICE EXECUTIVES, PRESIDENTS, VICE PRESIDENTS, GENERAL MANAGERS WHO WORK FOR 15 HOURS A DAY, SITTING AT ONE PLACE …


August 8, 2009

Wah Kya Desh Hey!

MR JOE LIVING IN AMERICA
Joe an American started the day early having set his alarm clock(MADE IN JAPAN) for 6am.
While his coffeepot(MADE IN CHINA)
Was shaving with his electric razor(MADE IN HONG KONG)
He put on a dress shirt(MADE IN SRI LANKA),
designer jeans(MADE IN SINGAPORE) and
tennis shoes(MADE IN KOREA)
After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet(MADE IN INDIA)
he sat down with his calculator(MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch(MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio(MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car(MADE IN GERMANY) filled it with GAS(from Saudi Arabia) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.At the end of yet another discouragingand fruitless day checking his ComputerMade In Malaysia), Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals(MADE IN BRAZIL) Poured himself a glass of wine(MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV(MADE IN INDONESIA), and then wondered why he can't finda good paying job in AMERICA AND NOW HE'S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM A PRESIDENT MADE IN KENYA !!!

August 6, 2009

Interview 10 steps to follow

Common Mistakes_Interview Tips

All that hard work sending out resumes has finally paid off and you've been called in for a face-to-face job interview.Congratulations!This is an important step in your job search. It's also your only chance to make a lasting first impression.On the day of your interview, sweating palms and stomach butterflies are to be expected. But you can reduce your stress level by knowing some common mistakes that interviewees make when meeting with potential employers -- and avoiding them.


Here are 10 of the most common mistakes people make on job interviews:

1. Not taking the interview seriously: Don't make the mistake of thinking the interview is just a formality. Even if all the preliminaries have gone well, don't be cavalier and start imagining how you'll start spending your new salary. The biggest error you can make is to assume that, because you've gotten this far, the job is in the bag.

2. Dressing down: How you present yourself during your initial meeting with a potential employer is very important, and your physical appearance can speak volumes to someone who is meeting you for the first time. Even if you know that the firm allows employees to wear jeans, don't sabotage yourself by showing up to the interview in casual clothing. Err on the side of conservative and show up in neat, professional clothing, preferably a business suit.

3. Not showing why you're the best choice: Be familiar with the job description of the position you're interviewing for so you can illustrate how your experience, abilities, and strengths are in line with the company's needs. Many potential employers want to know why they should hire you specifically. Make it clear to them.

4. Being too modest: Failing to talk yourself up during an interview is one of the most self-defeating mistakes you can make. This is not the time for humility, so sing your praises! Don't be afraid to talk up everything you've accomplished, whether in school or in previous companies. This is your time to shine.

5. Talking too much: Be careful not to talk over the interviewer. This meeting should be a two-way conversation, and many interviewees cover up their nervousness by blathering on. Sit calmly and listen carefully, answering questions thoughtfully.

6. Focusing on the funds: Don't start talking about money too soon into the interview. Focusing on your salary requirements and previous salary history right off the bat may cause you to reveal too much. While the topic of salary will certainly come up, follow the interviewer' s lead. He or she may be saving that topic for a later conversation.

7. Trash talking: Even if you hated your former boss or felt you were treated unfairly by your previous employer, a job interview is not the place to launch into a litany of complaints. Don't go there. If you were laid off or fired from a previous position, be prepared with an explanation that puts a positive spin on the circumstances.

8. Failing to ask questions: Your résumé may be impressive on paper, but employers also appreciate a candidate who can ask several intelligent questions during an interview. Prepare at least 3 or 4 questions in advance to ask the interviewer. Interviews are an exchange of information, and not having questions to ask can reveal a lack of preparation.

9. Lack of enthusiasm: This is your first and sometimes only chance to showcase your personality. Don't walk in announcing how you're having a bad day. Be polite and upbeat. Show your enthusiasm for both the job and the opportunity to interview for it. And don't forget to thank the person at the end of the interview!

10. Forgetting the follow-up: Make sure to send a handwritten thank-you note or polite email to the interviewer expressing gratitude for his or her time and consideration. And while you don't want to start calling the company on a daily basis, a phone call checking in a week after the interview is perfectly acceptable.

July 29, 2009

Taxes In India

Tax Structure in India.... Funny But True...
Question 1.. : What are you doing? Ans. : Business. Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!
Question 2 : What are you doing in Business? Ans. : Selling the Goods. Tax : PAY SALES TAX!! Question 3 : From where are you getting Goods? Ans. : From other State/Abroad Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI

Question 4 : What are you getting in Selling Goods? Ans. : Profit. Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!
Question 5: How do you distribute profit ? Ans : By way of dividend Tax : PAY DIVIDEND DISTRIBUTION TAX
Question 6 : Where you Manufacturing the Goods? Ans. : Factory... Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!
Question 7 : Do you have Office / Warehouse / Factory? Ans. : Yes Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!
Question 8 : Do you have Staff? Ans. : Yes Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!
Question 9 : Doing business in Millions? Ans. : Yes -- Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX! Ans : No -- Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax
Question 10 : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank? Ans. : Yes, for Salary. Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

Question 11 : Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner? Ans. : Hotel Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!
Question 12 : Are you going Out of Station for Business? Ans. : Yes Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!
Question 13 : Have you taken or given any Service / (s)? Ans. : Yes Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!
Question 14 : How come you got such a Big Amount? Ans.. : Gift on birthday. Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!
Question 15.: Do you have any Wealth? Ans. : Yes Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!
Question 16 : To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going? Ans. : Cinema or Resort. Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!
Question 17 : Have you purchased House? Ans. : Yes Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !
Question 18 : How you Travel? Ans. : Bus Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!
Question 19.: Any Additional Tax? Ans. : Yes Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!
Question 20: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax? Ans. : Yes Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

Question 21) INDIAN : Can I die now?? Ans :: Wait we are about to launch the funeral tax !!!

July 25, 2009

Parental Values - Never Forget Ur Past

Hi Folks
Hope u guys like this piece of video......Girish

Creativity Genius
























































Mouse - Joke

One day a mouse was walking on the banks of a river that ran through the jungle in Kenya.
He saw a Hippopotamus in the water and shouted to the Hippopotamus, "Hey you, come out of the water onto this bank, NOW".The Hippopotamus lumbered onto the bank as requested. The mouse then said, "OK, you can get back in the water now".
The mouse continued walking along the bank until he came upon a lion having a little dip in the river. The mouseshouted across to the lion, "Hey you, up here, on this bank now!".The lion was a little concerned about this 'jumped up' mouse giving him orders but he complied and climbed up onto the bank. The mouse then said, "OK, you can get back into the water now". The lion shrugged and returned to the river.
The mouse continued his trip along the banks of the river until he came across an elephant having a good old soak.The mouse shouted to the elephant. "Hey you, Mr. Elephant, up here on this bank now!". The elephant lumbered out the water and was then told by the mouse to return to the water.

The elephant however was a little bit annoyed about having his soak disturbed so he said to the mouse, "What is going on? I've just seen you call the Hippopotamus, the lion and now me out of the water, why are you doing this ?".

The mouse replied, "when I find out who stole my swimming trunks, I will kill him!".

July 23, 2009

Insipirational Personalities

Hi All
Pls go thru this link and meet some of the personalities whom you will all be inspired with!

http://docs.google.com/Edit?docid=dc55nmws_1gq8p27cn

Cheers !
Girish

July 16, 2009

Sense Organs

Hi guys
I went thru this amazing link and was shocked to know how our brain works and how smart we are. Requesting all you guys to go thru this test individually and come back with a feedback. Anyone scoring above 15 should be a genius. So lets go for it .......Pls click
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/body/interactives/senseschallenge/senses.swf

Girish

July 13, 2009

Wel Come


Dear All
Finally we have made....Bokavishesha should be the platform to share all our views good or bad, Happy or Sad, Anythings that comes across you and u feel it has to be shared must be posted. !
We have bridged the gap......
By the way who are the nine persons who have voted for this name ! Within a day i can see 9 votes for this name ??? They should be in Parliament and i can smell politics in thier blood !

Ha Ha Ha! Cheers and Welcome once again to "Bokavishesha Club".


Joke of the Day!

Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?

Sardar: I don't know.

Examiner: You are failed, what's your name?

Sardar: See my legs & tell my name


Highlights of the Day: Above Picture

Bandra Worli Sealink Flyover- Amazing flyover of Mumbai built across arabian sea, recently inagurated, 1500 Cr project and one of the beauty spot of Mumbai.